#2507 - Harland Williams

“Coyotes are everywhere. Everywhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're really cool, too. Coyote America, that book by Dan Flores, the same guy who wrote Bison Ecology, Bison Diplomacy. He wrote this amazing book about coyotes where he explains why they're everywhere.”

“I did ask. I'm doing something so advanced. You do the ice baths, right? You soak in them. Yep. So I'm doing something so extensive that I'm exercising myself into a new race.”

“And have you ever heard of malaria pills? Yes. So while everyone else is popping Ozempic and doing everything else, I've been on malaria pills for four years. And these things can flip your blood platelets.”

“I don't know. But what does Adderall do? Speed it up? I don't know. Ozempic, you give birth to a zombie. You give birth to a fucking jazzed up Adderall kid. Dad, I want to fucking clean this house. Wait, do you have any boys or is it all girls? It's all girls. Oh, wow. Do you wish you had a boy?”

“Okay. I mean, that's a bad review for a book when you go, you piece of shit. I didn't like Tom Sawyer. Boom. Did Dickens write Tom Sawyer? Or Huck Finn? No, no, no. That was Samuel Clemens. Mark Twain.”