Raccoon Wars, Lindsay Clancy, NFL Scammers & Past Crimes - Matt McCusker #1149

“Dude, my neighbor used to have raccoons for pets. He had two raccoons in a cage. And remember Urkel Cereal? I don't know if you were here. It's like Family Matters, the show, Carl Winslow. Remember Urkel, the black nerd? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had his own line of cereal for a while.”

“What year was this? Back in 1991, Steve Urkel got his own cereal. Urkelos was basically strawberry and banana flavored fruit loops. Yeah. I just remember seeing Urkel cereal next to a raccoon cage and being like, damn, my neighbor's raccoons eat Urkel cereal. Well, that's pretty much. And I was like a real little boy, and I was just like, I just stored that fact away in my head.”

“I break it out anytime raccoons come up. I'm like, oh, they actually love Urkel cereal. Go see a raccoon fact. Is Urkel cereal? Yeah. I mean, imagine you're already entrapped. Your life is in a cage.”

“just dies. And they were just like, all right, bury him. I was like, what the fuck about the fucked up? It's the most Russian story. Yeah. I read, it's called A Swim in a Pond in the Rain. And it's basically nine short stories, Russian short stories. And after every page, the guy that actually wrote the book explains how to read it.”

“I'm bored. This coffee's too hot. Yeah, I don't like this. This being so roasted. It's hit in the nuts. Yeah. Just got fucking whacked. Yeah. It's um, it is that stuff is nice. I, I, I do like to kind of think about that stuff a lot, or just like I really, really, really challenge”

“year by yourself. As a lady, I think especially it's like really fucked up. I asked literally an expert who wrote a book called Dad Brain. So there's mum brain, which you lose about 3% of your gray matter. It's like executive function. You forget where the keys are. But what is interesting is you actually become better at knowing about stuff to do with the kid.”

“modern wisdom. I know that you're into writing and stuff. Have you ever read Leo Tolstoy's diary entries? Have you ever seen any of these? I've read some of his short stories. Might be some of the best diary entries ever. Mozyon about September 19th, 1858, decided that one must love and work, and that's it.”